What is this stuff, called "S T U F F"....?

CONFUCIUS says,  "Stuff happens!"

MOHAMMED says,  "If stuff happens, it must be the will of Allah"

HINDUISM says,  "This stuff happened before"

BUDDHA says,  "If stuff happens, it really isn't stuff"

PSALMIST says,  "Rejoice dear hearts, when stuff happens"

HARE KRISHNA says,  "Stuff happens, Rama, Rama, Ohm, Ohm..."

RASTAFARIANISM says,  "Lets' smoke this stuff"

THE GOVERNMENT says,  "Let's tax this stuff"

CATHOLICISM says,  "Stuff happens because you are bad"

CALVINISM says,  "Stuff happens because you don't work hard enough"

LUTHERANISM says,  "If stuff happens, have faith and it will stop"

JESUITS says,  "If stuff happens that none hears, did it make a sound?"

HEDONISM says,  "When stuff happens, enjoy it"

ATHEISM says,  "Stuff really doesn't happen"

AGNOSTICISM says,  "Maybe stuff happens and maybe it doesn't"

STOICISM says,  "So stuff happens... Big deal... I'm tough... I can take it"

BAPTISTISM says,  "Quick grab this stuff before the Methodist do"

METHODISM says,  "Let's form a committee and organize this stuff"

PRESBYTERIANISM says,  "If stuff has to happen, let someone else have it"

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST says,  "Stuff happens everyday but Saturday"

CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST says,  "If stuff happens, don't worry it'll go away"

MORMONISM says,  "This stuff happened before and it will happen again"

CHURCH O' CHRISTISM says, "Stuff is sinful, I'll show you in the bible"