HERMAN'S WILL

The following is a holographic will, one written entirely within the handwriting, of the maker, and signed by him. It was the last will and testament of one Herman Oberwiss, and was offered for probate at the June term of the County Court of Anderson County, Texas, in 1934... (It was official)

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"I am riting of mine will mineself, cause des lawyir want he should have too much money, and he ask too many questions about the family.

"Jirst one thing I want done.  I don't want by brother Oscar to got a goddam thing.  I got he is a mizer. He done me out of $414 years since.

"I want it that Hilda my sister, she gets the north 60 akers where i am homing it. However, i bet she don't get that loafer husband of hers to brake 20 akers next, plowing.  She can't have it if she lets Oscar live on it. I want i should have it back if she does.

"Tell mama that $600 she has been looking for 10 years is berried from the bakhouse behind, about 10 foot down. She is better lett little Frederick do the digging and count it when he comes up.

"Pastor Licknita can have $300 if he kiss the book he won't preach no more dumhead talks about politks. He should a roof put on the meeting house, and the Elders should the bills look at.

"Mama should the rest get But i want it so that Adolph should tell her what not she should do, so no more slick Irishers sell her vaken cleaners. They noise like hell and a broom don't cost so much.

"I want it that mine brother Adolph be my executor, and i want it that the judge should pleese make Adolph plenty bond put up and watch him like hell. Adolph in a good business man but only a dumkoph would trust him with a busted pennig,

"I want dam sure that schleimial Oscar don't nothing gett. Tell Adolph he can have a hundret dollars If he prove to judge Oscar don't gett nothing. That dam sure fix Oscar,

/s/  Herman Oberwiss